Breath in, breath out.

The 7 Habits of Calmness:

By Leo Babauta

I have come to believe that high stress, constant anxiety over tasks and work and life, social anxiety … is all a part of the modern way of life.

Most people just don’t feel a sense of peace, of calm, of serenity, throughout their day.

I have to admit that I’m the same way some of the time, but I have learned a few things that have helped me create a feeling of calmness much more of the time than ever before.

It’s a series of habits that have developed over the last few years. I’m not perfect at them, but I do practice them, and they are always helpful.

These are habits, not a one-time change in my surroundings or work pattern. Changing your environment is great, but you can’t control the things that happen to you much of the time, and you certainly can’t control how other people act. The only thing you can control is your response — and this response matters. You can respond to the same event with anxiety or anger, or you can respond with peace and calmness.

Let’s figure out how.

The Habits of Calmness

These are the habits to develop that will help you develop calmness (based on my experience):

1. A calm morning ritual. Many people rush through their mornings, starting the day out in a stressful rush. I wake up a little earlier (5 a.m. these days, though that changes), and start with a little meditation, then a few yoga poses. I then start writing, before I let the noise in. Exercise is another component of my morning routine. You don’t need to do the same things, but find the quiet of the morning and make the most of it.
2. Learn to watch your response. When something stressful happens, what is your response? Some people jump into action — though if the stressful situation is another person, sometimes action can be harmful. Others get angry, or overwhelmed. Still others start to feel sorry for themselves, and wish things were different. Why can’t other people behave better? Watch this response — it’s an important habit.
3. Don’t take things personally. Many times the response (that you noticed in Habit 2) is to take things personally. If someone does something we don’t like, often we tend to interpret this as a personal affront. Our kids don’t clean their rooms? They are defying us! Our spouse doesn’t show affection today? He/she must not care as much as he/she should! Someone acts rudely at work? How could they treat us this way?! Some people even think the universe is personally against them. But the truth is, it’s not personal — it’s the other person’s issue that they’re dealing with. They are doing the best they can. You can learn not to interpret events as a personal affront, and instead see it as some non-personal external event (like a leaf falling, a bird flying by) that you can either respond to without a stressful mindset, or not need to respond to at all.
4. Be grateful. Sure, lots of people talk about gratitude … but how often do we apply it to the events of our day? Things are crashing down at work, or our boss is angry, or our co-workers are rude, or our kids are misbehaving, or someone doesn’t love us as we’d like … do these cause anger/anxiety/unhappiness, or can we be grateful? Drop the complaints, and find a way to be grateful, no matter what. And then smile. This unbending habit can change your life.
5. Create stress coping habits. Many times, when we are faced with stress, we have unhealthy responses — anger, feeling overwhelmed and withdrawing, eating junk food, drinking alcohol or taking drugs, shopping or otherwise buying stuff, going to time-wasting sites, procrastinating, and so on. Instead, we need healthy ways to cope with stress, which will come inevitably. When you notice stress, watch how you cope with it, and then replace any unhealthy coping habits with healthier ones. Healthy stress coping habits include: drinking tea, exercise, yoga, meditation, massaging your own neck & shoulders, taking a walk, drinking some water, talking with someone you care about.
6. Single-task. I’ve written numerous times in the past about single-tasking vs. multitasking, but I think people multitask now more than ever. People text while on the train, while walking, while driving. They tweet and post to Facebook and Instagram, they email and read blogs and news, they watch videos while getting things done, they watch TV while eating, they plan their day while doing chores. This is a great way to cause a level of anxiety that runs through everything you do, because you’re always worried you should be doing more, doing something else. What if, instead, you just did one thing, and learned to trust that you shouldn’t be doing anything else? It takes practice: just eat. Just wash your bowl. Just walk. Just talk to someone. Just read one article or book, without switching. Just write. Just do your email, one at a time, until your inbox is empty. You’ll learn that there is peace in just doing one thing, and letting go of everything else.
7. Reduce noise. Our lives are filled with all kinds of noise — visual clutter, notifications, social media, news, all the things we need to read. And truthfully, none of it is necessary. Reduce all these things and more, and create some space, some quiet, in your life.

Ultimate Beginner’s Guide to Tea

Speaking of calm habits, I helped create a new guide/course on tea: The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide to Tea. This isn’t an affiliate link and I don’t make any money if you buy it — I just recommend it because Jesse Jacobs is a great tea teacher, and he’s created something wonderful at Samovar Tea Lounge. It’s one of my favorite places in the world, and tea has become a deeply ingrained part of my life.

Check it out, and learn more about tea with me and Jesse: The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide to Tea.

I checked with Alfred E. Newman...

...he said the black spy really does hate the white spy.

And vice versa.

That was my first reaction when I saw Steve Schwaid's Facebook post about the reporter who debunked something from The Onion.

WTF? I wrongly assumed that the reporter was a youngster fresh out of college.

Nope, according to her online bio, she has more than six years experience. It goes on to say that when she's away from the newsroom she spends time with family, friends and her dog. May I kindly suggest she do a bit of reading?

And where oh where was her manager? Did someone assign this story to her? Or did she go rogue, investigate the proposal that the United States sever ties to the state of Alabama, determine the truth and take it upon herself to expose herself and her newsroom to ridicule on social media?

Tsk tsk.

My current theme song

Mike Miller

courtesy AOL sports

It's fairly well-known that while in Memphis, my fan-girl cup was filled to the brim when fellow South Dakotan Mike Miller joined the Grizzlies.  The "fights" I had with BFF Meg Green over him are, of course, legend.  Then he got traded.

In the short time John and I lived in Baltimore, he played for the Wizards so I got to see him on TV often when we lived there.

He got to Miami first, but once again, we are in the same city.  #notacoincidence?

Monday, the Miami Heat was honored at the White House for being NBA champions.  And Mike Miller got a shout out from the president.  Here's the verbatim from his remarks:

In Game Four against the Thunder last year, we saw LeBron carried off the floor with cramps, only to come back a few minutes later and hit a dagger of a three-pointer to put the Heat ahead.  We saw Dwayne Wade, the heart and soul of this team,  continue to do whatever it takes to win, including leading the team in blocks....We saw Chris Bosh get injured, but get healthy right at the perfect time and do outstanding work throughout the rest of the playoffs.

And it wasn’t just the Big Three.  Mike Miller could barely walk.  Mike, you look better now.  (Laughter.)  You looked broke down last year -- (laughter) -- but still hit seven three-pointers in the final game.  I don’t know how he did it because he could not walk.  He looked like an old man.  

 Good job, Old Man.  Good job.

House-hunting hilarity

Here is a feature we have not seen before.  A built-in blender...easy for frosty drinks by the pool!  This house also has a bidet...

We are still looking...

Channeling my inner Edna

I work an early shift.  I get up at midnight and at around 12:45am, I'm generally in contact with the morning team to talk about what incredible stories we intend to put our reporters on.  

There isn't an overnight photographer and we generally don't buy stringer video so when there's breaking news, we have to work the phones and dispatchers, although nice people, aren't always willing to part with meaningful information.

There was a fatal shooting at an Exxon station in Hollywood, about seven miles from the station so I decided to check it out on my way to the office.

Just in case, I instructed Amanda to choose a good photo from my Facebook page for the full-screen (in the event of my death).

Even after talking to the cop and snapping a few photos, I wasn't convinced that it was a huge story worth a reporter:  A bad guy went into a convenience store intending to rob the place.  The clerk shot and killed him.  My concern was that there would be no scene left at 5am and our reporter would be live at a gas station with nothing to show.

I was so wrong.
Turns out, a homeless guy who lives BEHIND the gas station saw the bad guys prepping to rob the place.  He alerted the clerk who had seconds to pull out a weapon.  One bad guy died, the other one ran away but didn't get far before he was arrested.  Thank goodness our reporter did a better job of finding the story than I did!
It was while I was driving back to the station that I thought of Edna Buchanan, a very famous Miami Herald reporter who wrote one of my favorite books.
I obviously spent too much time in the corner office and I need to sharpen my news sense!

Wild parrots on Miami Beach

I haven't been very good about blogging lately even though I see, smell and HEAR things that make me go "hmmm."

Here's one.  John and I were walking to the beach and hear the raucous noise of birds in the trees.  We couldn't see them at all but there were obviously dozens.  Finally, I realized we couldn't see the birds because they are green.  Wild parrots!

Also know as "feral parrots."

I love it here.

Happy to be in SoFla

I still remember when I learned...

The Heartbreaking Truth About Santa - ABC News

Flashback: Barry McGuire - Eve of Destruction 1965

A dozen things I like on 12-12-12

1. My husband.  He's in KC, I'm in Miami.  I miss him.  He'll be here before Christmas.
2. My new job.  It's challenging and fun.
3. The condo John found.  It's about 15 miles from the station but the commute is a breeze when I go to work and not too bad when I come home.  We will live here for at least the next three months.
4. Living in a big city again.  The energy is contagious!
5. Walking on the beach.  The peace is unmatched!
6. The news.  There's lots of it and I have to make decisions that stretch muscles I haven't used in awhile.
7. Reconnecting with old friends.  It's been almost twenty years since we lived here but many of our pals are still here.  I went to a fabulous Christmas party last week...
8. How easy it is to get a taxi.  And relatively inexpensive.  Just go to the curb and wave. 
9. New sports teams!  Dolphins, Panthers, Heat, Hurricanes and more.  Surprisingly there isn't an MLS team but hopefully that will change so I can see Sporting Kansas City again.
10. The Publix at 69th and Collins.  It almost, ALMOST makes me forget about Wegmans.  Love the shopping cart escalator.
11. Impatient drivers.  Everyone here is in a hurry.  Definition of a split second?  The time it takes for the light to turn green and the guy/gal behind you to honk their horn.
12. Oye!  Learning Spanish by immersion.  

Clouds by Zach Sobiech

99 Things I'll Miss About Kansas City

Somewhere in a box, there are hard copies of lists of the things I miss about Memphis and Syracuse.

I posted the Baltimore list on my Facebook page.  Making lists?  It's something I just do.  A way of counting my blessings I guess.  So, on the eve of my departure for Miami, here goes (in no particular order):

1. Chicken Spiedini at Carmen's in Brookside.
2. The Westport Pioneers statue.
3. The LRC.  And Gary Lezak.
4. The thrift stores on Wornall.  All of them
5. Killer's insatiable appetite for junk food and the largest commercially available Coca-Cola from fill-in-the-blank.  Purchased mostly by photographers, reporters and some producers and assignment editors.  You know who you are.
6. Ward Parkway.  Breath-taking in every season.  Most cities don't have a Ward Parkway.
7. Talking digital with Billy Smith.  Cheers!
8. Mack at the Hy-vee store on 122nd and Stateline.  Always has a smile and a story to tell.
9. Buying wine at the Target stores in Missouri.  For that matter, the ability to buy wine in any store in Missouri.  Carrie Nation's impact on Kansas is antiquated.
10. The young men in suits who sell pies on Cleaver Boulevard in all kinds of weather.
11. Getting the "stink eye" from the anchors for talking in the studio during a newscast.
12. The River Market Antique Mall.
13. Having a treat for Stormy and running around the studio during the newscast with her hot on my heels.  (Another reason for the "stink eye".)
14. Union Station.  Especially at Christmas.
15. The way Russ Ptacek always entered my office.  Reckless courage.  I loved it!
16. The iconic Central Library Parking Garage made of book spines.
17. Playing games at the College Basketball Experience
18. The Grandview Triangle aka Three Trails Crossing.  
19. Jeff Penner's willingness to try new things.
20. The hysterical, inappropriate telephone calls I got on the station-issued cell phone that were not meant for me.  Some of you know what I'm talking about.  Note to KSHB management:  Change that number.  The next news director doesn't need the distraction.
21. The West Bottoms.
22. The testament to marriage I witnessed when Cynthia Newsome was diagnosed with cancer.  Her husband Ed is a champion, too!
23. Barbecue.  Oklahoma Joe's, Arthur Bryant's and Jack Stack.  In that order.
24. John Batten's sense of humor.
25. Sushi Haru at 135th and Stateline.  Get the Shaggy Dog.
26. Minnesota Twins fans who live here.  You know who you are.
27. Crown Center.  We took our great nephew there before the fountains were closed to the public (children) and he had a ball!
28. The quiet and wise counsel of Mark Clegg.
29. David Jimenez.  He should be more well-known in KC.
30. The iconic Nichols Fountain and more than 200 others.
31. The Border Patrol on WHB810.  More than once I snorted coffee through my nose, laughing at their antics on the way to work.  
32. Brooke Givens' Christmas sweaters.
33. Eating lunch at the Nelson-Atkins.
34. The subterranean storage units.  Did you know the temperature remains at a constant 68 degrees to 72 degrees year round?  Fascinating!
35. Keith King's dogged determination to get me to adopt a dog.  Soon.  Once we get a permanent home in SoFla.
36. The drive between Atkinson, KS and Weston, MO.
37. Jack's Smack.  And Jack Harry.
38. My South Kansas City neighborhood and neighbors.
39. Captain Gregg Bourdon.
40. Tony Botello aka Tony's Kansas City.  He should be sourced more.
41. The Flint Hills area.  Spectacular!
42. Judy Johnson.  My friend.  I will miss her.  She was first my real estate agent but her knowledge of KC is deep and wide.
43. The proximity to South Dakota.  In my adult life, I've never lived so close to home.
    
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44. The Border War.  Too bad one school had to mess it up for everybody.
45. Kansas Speedway.  Saw my first NASCAR race which was quite possibly my last one too but I can cross it off the Bucket List.
46. Marsha Depping.  And her memos.
47. Not shaving my legs in the winter.  This luxury won't be possible in South Florida.  TMI?  Sorry.
48. Kansas City Chiefs tailgaters at Arrowhead.  Always willing to share food, drink...or, in the case of the first game of 2012, some battery power after we needed a jump.  Thanks to the guy with the flag made of bras. You know who you are.
49. Toby Tobin.
50. The All-Star Game and afterglow.  We were so proud!
51. John McKenna.  A rocky beginning grew into a great friendship.
52. Nick Dutcher.  Still missed and mourned.  Nobody has eclipsed his love of breaking news.
53. The Merry Happy Joyful food drive.  The competitive nature of some of my former co-workers will always make me smile.  You know who you are.
54. Royals games.  They were not my favorite, favorite team but I loved games at Kauffman.  I won't ever forget the magic of the outfield fountains.
55. Seeing Elizabeth Alex "call the hogs" wearing a red pig head on Funny Hat Day.
56. Sporting Kansas City.  Especially Jimmy Nielsen and Matt Besler.
57. Allison and Shari.  They work at the Beauty Brands on Stateline and are wonderful!
58. The Plaza Lights.  Easy one.
59. The 2011 Race for the Cure fund-raising effort at 4720 Oak Street.  Incredible generosity.  You know who you are.
60. St. Joseph, Missouri.
61. Frank Boal's passion.
62. The stray cat that visited me many times in South KC.
63. The potential for a great park at Kaw Point.  Unfortunately, the pollution issue has yet to be addressed.
64. Dan Mason's desire to own my rubber band ball.  Sorry, guy.  It's going with me.
65. The anticipation for Trader Joe's.  On both sides of the state line.
66. House prices.
67. The weather extremes.  Hot, cold, flood, drought, tornado.  And more.  SoFla won't have that.
68. Sitting on my deck at the end of the day with a glass of red wine.  Somehow it won't be the same when I get off work at noon...
69. Being in the middle of the country.  Flyover?  Not really.  These people matter!
70. Ethics questions from Christa Dubill.
71. Kansas City strip steaks.  The absolute best.
72. How the area responded to the Joplin tornado.  You know who you are.
73. The World War One museum.
74. The trails in Olathe.
75. The Shakespeare Festival.
76. The Bowen "farm" at Red Bridge and Wornall.  We met the owner once, walking her dog.  The animals:  Curly (John's favorite).  The Wounded Goose.  Henny Penny.  And the swans, turkeys, goats and pony.
77. Coffee on Tuesdays with Amy Hawley.
78. The statuary on Shawnee Mission Parkway through Fairway, Kansas.
79. Not hearing the trains anymore after we moved from Olathe.
80. The Kansas City Zoo.
81. How Kansas City is the REAL Gateway to the West.  St. Louis = Poser.
82. Hallmark cards.  I don't buy any other brand now.
83. Hearing about the old days in KCK from Mike Vrabac.
84. Winning at the casinos.  Rarely happened.  OK almost never.
85. Gary Brauer's cooking.
86. Sounds of the Holiday.  I'm a sap for high school choral groups.
87. The impact of "The Day After" on global politics.
88. The Hotel Phillips.
89. Leavenworth, Kansas.  Especially taking photos in the shadow of the sign at the prison that says NO PHOTOS.  
90. Jack Baker.
91. KCI.  I know it has to change but it really is an easy airport to get in and out of.
92. Old Shawnee Days. 
93. Dottie's vet.  Dottie was our dog.  Quite possibly the saddest day of my life was when we had to put our beloved down.  That woman was a saint.
94. Brown's Deli.  Best. Egg. Salad. Ever.
95. Tracy Brogden-Miller.  First a competitor, then a mentor.  Strange magic.
96. The Kansas City Star.  Pretty good paper with some really fine writers.  Steve Kraske, Dave Helling. Wish more of my former co-workers made reading it a regular habit...
97. The Scout statue.
98. The lounger-recliners at the AMC at Ward Parkway.
99. A forced temporary three-month retirement that gave me an opportunity to re-evaluate my priorities.

Home, Sweet Homes

Road trip!  We've got the house on the market and we're heading south to Miami.

I haven't blogged in weeks.  On purpose.  I felt like I needed to stay low during the most intense time of my job search.  I took some trips, spent endless hours on the telephone and watched hours of newscasts from markets far and wide.

But it was a Facebook message from my former co-worker that put me on the right path.

"Know any morning Executive Producers?"
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Some things that I've wanted to blog about but didn't:

• The News Director in Wisconsin who allowed his anchor to use four precious minutes of air time to recriminate a viewer who wrote a critical message about her appearance.  Jennifer Livingston called the viewer a bully.  What?!  Seriously bad.
• Cable TV is ridiculously expensive.  I have had too much time on my hands but I haven't necessarily watched more television.  I have written the checks to Time Warner, though.  Bring on 4G wireless!
• Never watch the show "Doomsday Preppers" right before going to bed unless you want to dream of the zombie apocalypse all darn night.
• The Kansas City Chiefs are the Worst. Team. Ever.  I attended my final home game as a season ticket holder last week.  I wore black.  I foolishly hoped that they would win, up until midway through the third quarter.  Fire them all.  And some twice.  
• The television station in Denver that accidentally used a spoof shot of the Petraeus bio grabbed from the internet...SMH.  Credibility is precious.  Somebody should get suspended. 
• I cooked and baked quite a bit during my extended vacation from work.  And I wondered about things.  Like...who first decided to separate eggs and beat the hell out of the whites to form stiff peaks?  Can you imagine how long that would take if done by hand?

There's more but this is a start.  Right now I'm working on my "100 Things I'll Miss About Kansas City" list. I'll post that within the next ten days.

Dear Eric Winston. Don't judge.

Hello Eric.  You don't know me, just as you don't know 98% of the people who were in the stands Sunday.  Many of them are people like me (a season ticket holder).  (I tweeted you a welcome message last summer but I don't expect you to remember.)

I shouldn't be a season ticket holder.  I'm unemployed.  I bought my tickets in mid-June after a pretty successful May book.  (You don't know what that means but it doesn't matter)  I didn't figure I'd lose my job even before the season started.  Que sera.

I wasn't at the game Sunday.  I gave my tickets away,  I  wanted to be there but because I chose to spend the weekend in South Dakota with my family, helping our parents get ready for the winter.

Before I left, I charted all of the Chiefs-affiliated radio stations on a map that follows I-29 so my husband and I could listen to the game on the way back to KC.  We watched the first half on TV and then got in the car for the six-plus hour drive south.

We had just reached Yankton, SD when Matt Cassel went down.  Neither of us cheered.  Neither of us were happy that he got hurt.  However, I certainly understand the feelings of the good people who continue to support this team even though the product has not been what we expected.

We're frustrated Eric.  We want to love you...all of you.  But frankly, you, your coach and your teammates make it difficult.  We don't expect perfection.  We know balls are going to bounce the wrong way.

That said, most of us think you should have at least won one of the three home games this year.

We're frustrated, Eric.  But don't condemn all of us for the actions of a few.  Tens of thousands were at the game.  Hundreds of thousands watched on TV...and who knows how many of us listened to scratchy AM radio stations in South Dakota, Iowa, Nebraska, Missouri, Kansas and Arkansas because we are passionate fans.

I know this because I've shared food with them, shared sports talk with them and screamed my fool head off with them.  But not when our guys got hurt.  Never then.

Maybe some stepped over the line, Eric.  But the vast majority of us are good, decent people.

We want Matt Cassel to heal quickly and find another job.

Flashback: Andy Williams

When we were kids, the Andy Williams Show was a favorite...especially if the Osmonds were going to make an appearance.

I remember watching the TV coverage of the Bobby Kennedy funeral train in 1968.  He was on it with Ethel.  He sang at the funeral.

Glory, glory, hallelujah for Andy Williams.

Flashback: WORK TO DO - Isley Brothers

Me:  I'm not done yet.
Second grade teacher:  Finished!  Done means you're cooked through and through!

I can make it.

We had guests for the Labor Day weekend.  My brother Perry and his wife, Toni.  Our son Charlie.  Our nephew Paul.

Hurricane Isaac impacted our plans Friday with a rain out of the Twins game.  I tried and failed to give the tickets away but we ended up using them Sunday in the scorching, searing Missouri heat.  And of course, the Twins lost.  We came home from the K ready for a fine meal and more family time.

The title of this post refers to a "kitchen incident" that occurred Sunday night as I was preparing dinner for my guests.  The menu?  BBQ country-style ribs in the pressure cooker, cole slaw and beans.  Followed by Perry's delicious zucchini cake.

Ribs cooked this way are fall-off-the-bone tender so I was confident that I would be receiving accolades for hours after dinner.  Except for the stupid move I made with a sharp knife.

Quick rewind.  For Mother's Day, John and Charlie bought me some REALLY sharp knives.  I don't even like to put them in the dishwasher, so as not to dull the edges.  I love those knives.  And there's a bunch of 'em.  There's a paring knife, a chef's knife, six steak knives, a bread knife, a boning knife.  A fabulous pair of kitchen scissors that will cut through anything.  Even a tomato knife.

But it was the utility knife that did me in.

Five minutes before the ribs should leave the flame, I was attempting to open a jar of slaw dressing with the utility knife.

The blade slipped and I stabbed myself right in that fleshy part of the hand between the thumb and index finger.

I yelled.

Not in a panic, mind you.  More at myself.

I went to the sink and turned on the water, to wash the wound a bit.

Then blood started spurting from the hole in my hand and I really yelled.  Loud.

"I cut myself!"

Medic!  (My brother was in the National Guard and my nephew is active duty.)

Both sprang to action.

"Put pressure on it," my brother ordered and despite my morbid desire to see the blood blurting out and the fact that he's seventeen years younger than I am, I obeyed.  Paul was right there with the bandage.

It's not a big cut...just about a quarter of an inch.  But it is deep and it hurt like hell.

Pressure and a bandage was exactly what I needed.  That and for my brother to finish cooking dinner while I supervised, telling him what to do and when.

Just what I needed.

Thanks David Pogue, I needed this!

Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is...

When the news hits too close to home

Wednesday morning was one just like most others.  Wake up, turn on the morning news, make coffee, read the newspaper.  Our morning team was dealing with breaking news that day.  A wrong-way crash hurt three people.  I-435 had been closed for hours and was still closed at 6am.  Bummer for commuters.

That afternoon, I was on a conference call and idly clicked on to my Facebook page.  A message?  How fun!  I clicked it.

"The girls in the wrong way crash are Ken and Diane's daughters," my cousin messaged.  "They are headed to KC right now."

Ken (Kendall) Wiechmann is my cousin.  Our grandfathers were brothers so we aren't first cousins. Second?  Third?  Whatever.  We went to school together, starting in the one-room school house through 12th Grade.  We had the same last name so we walked one after the other at graduation in May, 1975.  I went off to college and he started his own career.  We hadn't seen each other in years.

When we were children, Kendall was always just a little bigger and a little stronger than I was.  We had a typical "cousins" relationship.  Our farms were a mile apart.  He had a sister who was Pam's age and a brother who was Paula's age.  We played together.  We swam in the creek together.  We poured water down gopher holes together.

"You're ugly," I would say to him.

"You're dumb," he would counter.

And we would throw dirt clods at each other.  (A common childhood  activity in South Dakota.  Dirt clods look like rocks but aren't as dense and turn into dust upon contact.)

Back to Wednesday afternoon.  I was frozen.  I raced to the assignment desk where Killer pulled the accident report. KrissaMarie (age 22) and Kayla Wiechmann (age 26), both of Nashville (formerly of South Dakota), were driving home to see their family.

Rory Liberty, a guy with a relatively clean record, apparently driving under the influence, crashed into their car.

I didn't know these girls but my heart ached for their worried parents.  Thursday I waited for the driver to be charged so I could tell their parents.  I looked at the girls' pictures on Facebook and wondered at their lives.

Another cousin told me about the driver who was right behind them when they collided with Rory Liberty's car.  He put out the fire that started and stayed with them until the ambulances came.

That truck mechanic saved them from further injury and possibly worse.

My family is grateful to Richard Jewell.

KSHB-TV Post-Olympics Coverage 1996

Words defined in real life

Schadenfreude

It's good to be first but better to be right

I've waited a few days to post about the DEBACLE at the "networks" of CNN and FOX.  Shame.

Read more here.

Learn.

Never make the mistakes they made.

Flashback: Styx Fooling Yourself

I was helping read scripts today and came across one about a proposal to reduce possession of small amounts of marijuana to a non-felony.  I remarked (out loud) that when I was in college in the 70s, marijuana was decriminalized in South Dakota.  Less than an ounce = a $200 fine.

Everybody I knew smoked a little weed in the late 70s, I said.  Me too.

But then I said I didn't graduate from college.

There was a bit of silence for a minute or two and then we all went on with our day.

Bottoms Up! I'm a news director! Or am I....

On the way home tonight, for some reason, I was navel-gazing considering my job title.

News director.

And just at that moment the newest Sonic radio commercial played on the Royals pre-game show.  (The displayed Sonic commercial has nothing to do with this post, by the way.  I just like it because it starts with a Kansas City reference.)

The Sonic radio commercial I heard was a somewhat amusing riff on oxymorons.  Jean jacket, relaxing fuel, etc.

My job title is a contradiction of terms.  News director.  Bah!  I don't direct the news.  I have no control over the news.

I'm a news responder.

Most days, I feel like all I've done is respond (and react) to news.

(Everyone knows that if you make a plan for severe weather, it will by-pass us to the north or south.  But the second we don't have a plan, tornado warnings will strike without notice.  Floods, frogs, plague.  A certainty the one time you don't have a plan.)

How I love it!

Flashback: Grass Roots - Let's Live For Today

Ignore the over-modulated audio and appreciate this song for the message.  Plus it includes the fabulous Jimmy Durante who sings, as well.

What Is Newsworthy?

Although I am trying hard not to be a shill for HBO, I can't resist sharing the trailers/teasers they release about their upcoming series that starts later this month.

This is an interesting question that is not answered in this video.

For me, newsworthy means it affects a lot of people, may or may not include conflict although conflict is preferred or has a "holy shit" factor that cannot be predicted.  For me, most celebrity information is not newsworthy.  Most of the news releases emailed, faxed and mailed to the assignment desk as not newsworthy.  Most of the email tips we get from viewers are not newsworthy.

But.

We have to process each one.  And try not to make decisions based on our cynical views.

My new bucket list

50 Things Everyone Should Know

Reflections on a Career

John and I watched this movie the other day and this passage (part of the above clip) spoke to me:

I wouldn't have had it any other way. But there are times when suddenly you realize you're nearer the end than the beginning. And you wonder, you ask yourself, what the sum total of your life represents. What difference your being there at any time made to anything. Hardly made any difference at all, really, particularly in comparison with other...careers.

Leadership lessons in "Bridge on the River Kwai" are everywhere.  I wonder how many times my boss has watched this movie.  He loves movies and leadership and although I don't think he loves conflict, he definitely understands and appreciates Lt. Col. Nicholson's desire to build a great bridge and how conflicted he was, at the end.

We are building a bridge.  We want it to be the best bridge we can build.

But we can't be afraid to blow it up, if necessary.

Rushmore Mascots Hit the Road - Their American Journey

A fun thing happened at work today.  Four South Dakotans came to visit!  The Mt. Rushmore presidential mascots will be in KC all weekend.  Not surprisingly, the Secretary of Tourism knows my brother-in-law, Bob Drake.  Small world!

Welcome to KC, Len Jennings

Are you Larry's replacement?

Len Jennings Day at NBC2 - NBC-2.com WBBH News for Fort Myers, Cape Coral & Naples, Florida

Juking the stats...as the May book winds down

"Shocking admissions"  "Big Announcements"  "Exclusive details."

Bleah.

Short term strategy doesn't equal long term gain.

Viewers cannot/will not be fooled more than once so avoid creating false anticipation.  Re-titling newscasts, producing 15 minutes of content when customers expect more will only work for a short time.

Only quality wins.  Quality equals investigative stories, memorable storytelling and never, ever making a mistake.

Not easy but it's the only true path to success.

Flashback: The Carpenters A Song For You

If iPods had been invented in the early 70s, the first 99-cents I would have spent on iTunes would have been The Carpenters.  I still miss this voice.  Gone too soon.

Random thoughts that keep me up at night.

Tip of the hat to DerpinaDurr

• Just read this week's issue of Sports Illustrated on Eric Hosmer.  We were at the K for five of his 0-for-7 at bats Wednesday night.  Time to send him to Omaha to get his head back on straight before he is completely demolished emotionally.
• Finally over the collapse of the Memphis Grizzlies AT HOME in GAME SEVEN against the Clippers.  Sorta.
• Feeling positive about our (41 Action News) chances to regain 2nd place at 5pm.  One week to go in the May book.  Ahhhh.
• Haven't watched any hockey since Charlie left and that's okay.
• I'm a judge for National Murrows and that will consume this weekend.
• Wondering when John and I will get a trip to South Dakota in.  I miss my family.
• Pulled a knife out of it's home in the wooden block too quickly tonight, lost the grip.  It flipped and  slightly sliced my wrist.  Wonder if that's a sign.  Ha!
• Seven of my 21-pack of Royals tickets have been used.  None of those games have been winners.
• Looking forward to the Chiefs season.  I get a jersey with any name, any number on it.  But they only allow for nine spaces/letters.  Awaiting permission from the front office to add two spaces to my "free" jersey as a season ticket holder.  I want the number to be 41 and the name to be Action News.  That could help me behave at the games.  Could.
• Got a message to call my doctor on Monday.  Four days later, I'm still trying to remember to do this during business hours.
• Not missing Charlie as much as I thought I would.  I'm very happy that he's so happy.
• My "farm" is growing nicely.  I've already harvested leaf lettuce.  Garlic, tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers, all in pots, are thriving.
• Thinking about Carly's upcoming we're-just-friends weekend with her former-boyfriend-Dusty-who-I-still-like.  Sorry Bebob, that's an overshare.
• Hope the Clippers lose in four to the Spurs.
• Playing five games at once of Words With Friends is awesome.
• Glad my Ford 500 is finally paid off.
• Sad I still smoke three cigarettes per day.
• Wish I could beat John at Gin Rummy more often.  He gloats.  Wish I could play the most formidable opponent ever, John's dad, even more.  We lost Bill almost a decade ago and I miss him.  He didn't gloat.
• Thrilled about my management team at work which is finally fully staffed.
• Still want a dog.
• Wish the Twins were better.
• It's been one year since we moved to South Kansas City and I love living here.
• John organized my side of the closet and did a really good job.  I still haven't thanked him.  I need to.
• Glad the Yankees aren't very good.
• Need more sleep.

Wisdom about any major life change (found on Pinterest)

Source: Uploaded by user via Aditi on Pinterest

Flashback: Hullabaloo

In our afternoon editorial meeting Thursday, Managing Editor Brooke Givens quoted a woman regarding this week's Time magazine cover photo.
"Oh my, that will cause a real hullabaloo..."
And I had a flashback to the NBC variety show I watched as a kid,.

Getting old is easier when all of my memories can be dredged up on YouTube.

I love this.

Meaning of Wiechmann Last Name - Surname - Family Name Wiechmann

Thanks Dad.  That's a good name.  I'll try not to mess it up.

The painted ponies go up and down.

If you have the six minutes to spare, listen to the BRILLIANT Joni Mitchell.  She's incredible.

I didn't come by my love of this song in the right way...I was old enough to appreciate Joni Mitchell when this tune was first released but I was probably too busy listening to Bobby Sherman and David Cassidy to notice.

The FIRST time I became aware of  Circle Game was when I was married to Carly's dad, Clyde, who had an incredible sense of musical beauty.  He taught me a great deal.

The second time I recall is when I was a news director at another station. The general manager "fired" a long time consultant at the TV station where we both worked.  The GM had preceded me by about a year, hired me and we both agreed that our consultant (who had worked with the station for more than two decades) needed to go.  He (the consultant) was a really nice guy.  Really nice.  But the station we were working at had slipped from a dominant first place to number two.  And you know how that goes:

1. Fire the consultant
2. Get new graphics
3. Build a new set
4. Hire a new news director
5. Lather, rinse, repeat

But I digress.  This particular GM sent an email to the consultant relieving him of his duties.  And the last line of the email was "and the painted ponies go up and down."

At the time, I thought the phrase was kinda heartless.  I know better now.

When Carly's dad died, we played Circle Game at his memorial.

And since our son Charlie moved from KC to Jackson, Wyoming, it is meaningful again.

USAToday has a story about how Boomers are helping their kids get along.   We have tried to help both of ours as they meander through adulthood.

How funny it is that both John and I have struggled so with Charlie's decision to move west when both of us did it decades ago.

John was the oldest of two, finished a stint at college and in the late 70s felt the need for more.  He and some friends moved from Connecticut to Reno.

I, the oldest of seven, dropped out of college in the late 70s because I wasn't a great student and felt the need for more.  I move from South Dakota to Reno.

Eventually we found each other and Charlie is the product of our discovery.  Yay!

Now our Charlie has jumped from the nest.  He graduated from college, spent some months with us and felt the need for more. 

Wednesday, he left for Jackson, WY.  He has a job.  He loves the outdoors.  This is perfect for him.

And the seasons, they go round and round.  And the painted ponies go up and down.

"Our Time..."

I bought it.  Hook, line, sinker.

My mouth should be sore from getting dragged from Twins Lake of Doom to the Royals Boat of Not-So-Much.

I've been a Twins fan all my life but this year, I considered trading my blue and red for light blue.  The Twins lost some of my favorite players (Kubel, Cuddyer).  The Twins stars (Mauer and Morneau) were big question marks after last year.  The Royals were going to be better.  The Twins, worse.  The Royals would not win the division but they would be contenders.  The Royals would win more games than they would lose.  And most importantly, the Royals would be juiced by the fact that the All-Star Game is in Kansas City this summer.

In the off-season, all the talk was of how this year's team would be better than the ones before.  Much. Better.  Yes, there were concerns about pitching.  Significant concerns.  But the big bats of Billy Butler, Alex Gordon, Eric Hosmer and Melky Cabrerra...oops, he's gone.  Okay, Butler, Gordon, Hosmer and...uh...

Whatever.

I just finished watching the Royals lose their ELEVENTH STRAIGHT GAME.  At home.  In a row.

I am generally an optimistic person.  I look for the bright side.  I try to find the silver lining.

It's really, really hard to look forward to seeing the Royals go on the road against the Indians, Twins and Tigers followed by games here against the Yankees and Red Sox.

How did this happen?  What is wrong with this team?  I honestly have no idea.

I can, however, imagine how Ned Yost feels.  Sometimes being the coach of a professional team sucks.  Bad.

Being a news director involves lots of skills.  Some I am good at.  Some not.  One skill is coaching.  That's not something I'm especially good at.  I have to work at it and I fail more often than not.  I'm not very patient.

It is difficult to lose day after day after day.  The only way out of the abyss is to win.  And when you can't remember what that feels like or when it's been a long time since it happened, losing gets easier and easier.  Winning gets harder.  Harder.  And harder.

Continuous negative thinking equals insanity.  So the Royals have to battle the negativity/insanity and that's not easy.  Especially when the "Our Time" spots are still running rampant on sports radio.

One expert says it's a mind game.  Here's some of his advice:

When the team loses:
PRAISE individuals who have played well despite the team losing.
PRAISE particular occasions in games when a player has done something good.
PRAISE players who have tried to continue playing well despite being a lot of goals behind.
PRAISE the individuals who try and encourage the rest of the team to step up a gear even though they are losing.
The other thing to talk to your players about is that they have the ability to put everything right the next week. To think about how they played in this match and what they need to do to put it right in the next match.
Finally explain what went wrong in the game and how with hard work in training they can put it right.

Something to work on.  Go Royals!

Our anniversary...in pictures

Yup...he was surprised.  You can see more pictures of our celebration here.

25 reasons why I love John Phillip

I'm a list-maker.  

In what has become a series, here are the 25 reasons why I love my husband as we approach two and a half decades of commitment which will be celebrated in style on April 2.

1. I love how you always ask me the speed limit when we're driving somewhere and how you then brag about never getting a ticket.
2. I love that when I walk in the door at the end of a long day, you instinctively know if I've had a challenging day and STILL kiss me hello and ask me about it. Even when the answer might be long-winded and boring.
3. I love that you let me have two Christmas trees this past year.  I might go for three eight months from now.  You've been warned.
4. I loved looking for houses with you and I love the one that we (I) picked...even though it doesn't have a big deck and a finished basement.
5. I love it when I come home in the winter and the fireplace is already lit.  Even on a Tuesday.
6. I love how you made my brother Pat's 50th birthday special that made him feel special.
7. I love that you insist on hanging pictures of our kids in various stages of growth in a prominent place so everyone knows that our family is very important.
8. I love how you put up with my live-on-the-edge mentality.  Plans?  Who needs plans?
9. I love taking pictures of you in funny places (in front of signs proclaiming the locations of Tightwad, Missouri and Peculiar, Missouri).  Yes, you are a tightwad and peculiar.
10. I love going to Sonic with you and getting a giant cherry limeade with our hot dogs.
11. I love that you're becoming quite the handyman with your new tools.
12. I love how irritated you get when I call my veggies-in-pots-on-the-deck a "farm."  Get over it.  I'm a farmer's daughter.  Anything I grow is a farm.
13. I love how you insist we see fireworks on the 4th of July.
14. I love that you seem not to mind that I'm "husky."  And that you support me when I try to lose weight.
15. I love that you know every single dog on our weekend walking route and that you've adopted Curly- the-Great-Pyrenees.  Bonus Love.  I know you know Curly is not enough for me because I want our own dog.  (Tick tock tick, the clock is ticking for us to get another mutt...)
16. I love that you wrote down all the days we should OFFICIALLY fly the American flag on the calendar so we don't forget.
17. I love how you wear your political emotions on your sleeve and that incredibly, you're more liberal-leaning than I am.
18. I love how you put up with my mad sports obsessions...like the Chiefs, Sporting Kansas City and the Royals and enjoy tailgating almost as much as I do.
19. I love that you buy lottery tickets for me to scratch off and are disappointed when we don't win.
20. I love how you groaned about going to South Dakota last year when the floods disrupted our regular routes but did it anyway, even when it added hours and hours to the trip.
21. I love how worried you were when Carly got hurt in the bike crash and how you called every hospital trying to find her.
22. I love how you've figured out how to take pictures of any jackpots you win at the casino.  And text them to me so I can be jealous that I'm not winning too.
23. I love how you take Charlie golfing and gloat when you beat him.  Enjoy it now.
24. I love how there can be a million men in a room and that I only have eyes for you.
25. I love how you've tried and tried to guess what your anniversary present would be...and how you may have figured it out but won't let me know for sure.  And I'm not telling until I'm ready.

It's okay if you call me a 'douche-nugget' (or worse)

This blog about a book had me chuckling.  I don't work in HR but I'm always amazed at the employee-employer relationship...and how quickly it can go south.

"Apparatus! I said apparatus..."

Have you heard about the morning anchor who supposedly dropped the F-bomb after hearing about Peyton Manning's move to the Denver Broncos?  The above YouTube video is the station line on what really happened.

I can't help but remember the time Sally Fitz reportedly told Ralph Rayburn to "stick it up your ass" when both were trying to interview the same person in the aftermath of Hurricane Andrew.

We were all still on 12-hour shifts and Sally and Rick Sanchez had been dispatched to field anchor from South Dade.  Both did incredible, award-winning work.  But it was exhausting and stressful.  Ralph and Sally came upon the same story at the same time.  Both wanted the interview and Sally pulled rank.  Unfortunately, her mic was live during the "discussion."

I was pretty sure Princell Hair, then a producer, was in the booth but my pal Bill Pohovey was actually there.  (I was the Assignment Planner and had camped out in my office behind the assignment desk. I was asleep when it all went down)

Sally ended up with the interview.

Shortly thereafter, the Miami Herald reported the incident and Sally, ever the professional, explained that Ralph's IFB had fallen out of his ear and that she was really just pointing it out.

"Apparatus...I said apparatus" she explained to the newspaper.

There was no YouTube in 1992 so I guess we'll never know.

One of the things I miss most about South Dakota--the night sky

Yankton Press & Dakotan Ap-state-sd Time-lapse videos showcase S. Dakota's landscape

Great read on the difficulty of changing a culture

News executives acknowledge ‘toxic’ cultural divide between print and digital:
After 18 months of work and countless pinky-shake vows of confidentiality, my colleagues at the Project for Excellence In Journalism have a fresh report out today on the newspaper industry’s search for a new business model.

The report, “The… Read more

Meet the New Kansas City

The day after

George Waldenberger took this photo in Branson, MO today, less than 24 hours after an EF2 raked the tourist destination.  Maybe John and I will get down there this year...

Happy Leap Day Eve

In honor of the occasion, here's a joke I found on Wikipedia:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen!" 
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" 
The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Priorities

5 Ways You Are Turning Customers Away:

Are you losing customers without even knowing it? Make sure your business and employees aren't suffering from these easy setbacks.

When it comes to running your company, it's normal to get into a rut from time to time. One big rut is not having enough time in the day to really assess all of the ways your customers are interacting with your business, whether it’s digital or good old face-to-face. With all the access customers have to products and services other than your own, it’s extremely easy to lose opportunities to make them happy.

Take a look at your business and see if any of these pitfalls could be turning your customers away:

1. Employee Chatter

How many times have you walked into a store and you hear employees talking to each other about their shifts, the fact that they hate working today, or how they can’t wait to get off work to go clubbing tonight? It happens more often than you think and it might be happening right within your walls. Your customers want a pleasant and positive experience with your business, whether they’re on the phone with your sales team or in your store or office. Let your employees know how important it is for them to focus on the customers and save the idle chit-chat for when customers aren’t around.

2. Phone Tree Hell

Have you ever called your own business phone number to see what the customer experience is like? I do it all the time. If your phone tree has lots of branches and your customers or prospects can’t get someone to talk to in a quick and easy fashion, you could have lost them forever. Don’t greet your customers on the phone with the “Please listen to the following as our menu has changed” message. That takes a solid five seconds that a customer could be in touch with you faster. Also, assess what most of the calls coming in are concerning. If they’re usually about a specific topic, then that should be the “Press one for … ” option. If you’re selling out of a specific product or you have an issue that your customers might be experiencing, you can set that to be the first thing callers hear. Don’t be afraid to change your phone tree.

3. Mobile Mania

Have you ever had to wait for someone to get off his/her mobile device before helping you? Think of a customer coming into your business and experiencing the same. It’s maddening. I’ve literally been at a restaurant and waited for 10 minutes before I was asked if I wanted a menu simply because the wait staff was updating Facebook. And it doesn’t only happen at retail locations; it happens in the office environment, too.

At my small business marketing company, VerticalResponse, our employees used to always have their laptops on or type away on their mobile devices during meetings. It was terrible and had to be curbed; no matter how good you are at multi-tasking, you’re going to miss something important if you’re typing away. It shows a lack of respect for your customers or co-workers and it says to them that whatever's happening on your phone or laptop is more important than everyone else’s time. And time is money. Make sure your employees put customers first, before texting and Facebook, and if they want to do those things, then it should be during their breaks.

4. Inconsistencies

If you’re a customer and you like to frequent a particular business, you expect a certain level of performance that you’ve grown accustomed to, whether it be a website that works properly or the quality of a meal at a restaurant. If you think you have the best pizza in New York, it better be the best pizza every single time you serve it. If your customer service is outstanding, all of your customers need to experience that outstanding service each and every time. Remember that your repeat customers are telling your new prospects about their experience, so make sure it’s always the same stellar experience.

5. Welcome! (Or Not?)

Have you ever walked into an office building and had no one pay attention to you? Or ever shopped at a store and no one asked if you needed help? My husband walked into a local store, shopped for an item for about 10 minutes and none of the four employees (who weren’t busy) asked if he needed help. He then brought his purchase to the counter and gave the check-out person his credit card. The entire transaction happened without a word. Really? The Gap makes it someone’s job to welcome people into the store. Restaurants have hosts that greet you and get you seated. Offices should have some way of knowing when a visitor has arrived. Make sure you and your people are smiling and welcoming newcomers into your place of business; you never know who they might be.

These five things may sound very simple to avoid, but they could be happening right under your nose!

It was a helluva game.

Missouri, Kansas end 100-year-old rivalry

A blog I regularly frequent....

South Kansas City Observer: KCFD and KCPD: Heroes or Villains?: One of the great laws of municipal life is that the jobs of the police department and the fire department are not like other city jobs, that...

I wonder what my Target Guest ID says about me.

How companies learn your secrets.

The ROI for "Thanks"

5 Tips To Get Maximum ROI From Saying "Thanks":

You know it's important to say thank you. Here are some easy ways to express gratitude--and have it impact your bottom line.

Erin Newkirk admits that she too, has been guilty of touting the value of handwritten thank-you notes at the expense of actually sending them.

Except that unlike the rest of us, Newkirk was actually at the helm of one of the first online greeting card companies, Red Stamp. Founded circa 2005, before Facebook was a regular part of everyone's daily life, the company aimed to be an online “social secretary,” acting as a reminder service along with offering high end occasion cards sent through its website. “Our twist was that for an additional fee, we would hand-write and send cards on behalf of our clients,” says Newkirk.

By focusing on physical cards only, Red Stamp Cards lost its way, explains Newkirk. So the company did a hard pivot (though it still offers paper options for those who prefer it) to serving up e-greetings via mobile. Launched in September, Red Stamp’s app is approaching half a million downloads, testimony to the rising tide of consumers eager to send greetings on the go.

A far cry from texting, these e-messages deliver thoughtful dispatches in a polished format, with the added punch of immediacy. For those sending thank you notes for business, this is particularly powerful because, as Newkirk puts it, “expressed words of gratitude are more important than the paper they’re written on anyway.”

She does recognize that communicating at this pace is fraught with potential pitfalls (ever hit 'reply all' and send something to unintended recipients?) and with that in mind, Newkirk offers Fast Company some pointers on modern etiquette for virtual correspondence, and tips for businesses to get maximum ROI from a note of gratitude.

Just Do It

RIP Whitney Houston

School District Hanky-Panky?

Capt. Spaulding's World: KSHB Story: Continued Kansas City School District Hanky-Panky

The pot reproaches the kettle

Local NDs Give So-So Marks To Nat'l TV News

I need help with number 5

5 Ways to Look More Professional:

Sometimes little things make a big difference. Here are some easy ways to get a competitive edge.

In a world where people and products alike are increasingly seen as replaceable commodities, you can't afford not to seem just a little bit more professional than your competition.

Here are five easy tweaks:

1. Hire a Copy Editor

There's no denying that business communications have become increasingly casual as people more frequently use email, messaging, blogs and so forth. This creates an opportunity, because you can now create an aura of superior professionalism simply by communicating with error-free text ... especially if your competition is winging it.

If you're not capable of writing perfect copy yourself, though, hire a copy editor to go over your most important documents–even emails. It's surprisingly inexpensive. I've had good experiences with PureText, but if they're too busy, it shouldn't be too difficult to locate an alternative.

2. Speak More Clearly

I've interviewed hundreds of top executives, and the most successful (like Larry Ellison and Michael Dell) have well-modulated voices and tend to speak slowly and clearly. The wannabes, on the other hand, talk fast, say "uh ..." or "like ..." in the middle of their sentences or, worst of all, have that annoying little uptick at the end of a sentence that turns it from a statement into a question.

To sound more professional, record your voice when you're talking in person and on the telephone, listen carefully to the playback, become aware of what you're doing, then try again. Repeat until you've learned to slow down and speak more clearly. If necessary, hire a vocal coach.

• Read more: LinkedIn Mistakes: Top 5 Ways to Kill Your Credibility

Ouch. Advice from Inc.com

Firing someone is hard -- but getting fired is always harder. Don't make it worse by putting your foot in your mouth.
Letting an employee go can be a stressful and even painful experience. Possibly that’s why making the firing process as easy as possible—for the boss—is something of a cottage industry.
That’s too bad, because while terminating an employee is hard for you, getting fired is way harder for the employee.
So forget about your feelings. Whenever you have to fire an employee you must protect your business from a legal aspect.
After that, your only goal is to treat the employee as compassionately and respectfully as possible.
Your feelings are irrelevant.
Which is why you should never say any of the following:
1. "Look, this is really hard for me." Who cares if it’s hard for you? The employee certainly doesn’t. Any time you talk about how difficult the situation is for you the employee thinks, "Oh yeah? What about me? How hard do you think this is on me?" If you feel bad—and you will—talk through your feelings later with someone else.
And also never say, “Look, I’m not sure how to say this…” You’re sure what to say. You’re just uncomfortable saying it.
Never even hint that the employee should somehow feel your pain; that’s just selfish. Here's more:

The 10 Worst Things to Say When You Fire Someone:

Trouble in Pinterest Paradise.

Hot New Social Network Pinterest Torn Apart by Marginally Crude Picture [Social Networks]:

Have you all heard of Pinterest? It's the hottest new social network for sharing your favorite cookie recipes and pictures of expensive furniture. But a barely risque post by a Pinterest power user has torn the burgeoning community apart. More »

Groundhog Day

On the way home from work Wednesday, I realized, after ciphering the number in my head and confirming it by counting on my fingers, tomorrow will be the 16th time.

Sixteen times as a news director embarking on a February sweeps period.

It's kind of exciting.  It's the shortest month of the year but sweeps months are always longer than other months, somehow.  It starts with a bang for all NBC stations.  We have the Superbowl!  (Go Giants)  And there are plenty of other big events to draw folks to the  TV set.

CBS has the Grammys.  FOX has American Idol.  ABC has the Academy Awards.

Sweeps Eve?  It does feel like Groundhog Day.  And of course, tomorrow is.

For me professionally, this has been an incredible year of working on the way I communicate.  How do I get out of the death-spiral rut of negativity?  How do I transform myself into a more positive leader?  How do I provide feedback that feels like coaching, not criticism?

I still fail.  Regularly.

In the movie, the Bill Murray character (Phil Connors) is stuck in an endless loop.  I think we all get that way.

If you find yourself in a rut, keep working at it!  And for guidance, check this out:

So how does Phil Connors change in the movie? Ironically, Phil breaks free and changes his life by slowing down. By doing the equivalent of going from fast-forward to pause, he can start to see an accurate image of himself.

It's not easy.  I especially struggle with the slow down part.  There always seems to be so much to do and so little time to do it.

On this, the eve of Groundhog Day, I pledge to let go of my set ways.

And slow down so I can be a better leader.

This series has potential.

Brian Williams on his First Big Break:

Tomorrow we debut the newest mediabistroTV series “My First Big Break” where media bigs tell us about the break that got them on the path to media stardom. In our debut episode, “NBC Nightly News” anchor and managing editor Brian Williams talks about the woman who gave him his first big break and, some other guy who helped along the way.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Drive 55? No Can Do.

Seriously.  Today I had one of the Best. Birthdays. Ever.

I can live with being 55.  Double nickles.  The speed limit.

Birthdays that end in 0 or 5  are more momentous than the rest..  When I turned 50, I was unemployed. OMG!

I was fresh off of an eight-year-plus stint at WMC-TV in Memphis.  Legacy station.  Long time number one.  Ratings leader.

Some background.  I was hired in at WMC in 1998 by Bill Applegate, one of the most brilliant minds in the business. He moved on to Cleveland and was replaced by Howard Meagle.

Howard and I had a difficult beginning, to say the least.  We learned to appreciate each other.

I was invited to leave (fired) after the November book in 2006.  Not that it was a surprise.  Howard was dispatched in July, 2006 and when the new I-want-my-own-puppet GM arrived, I knew my days were numbered.  I lasted four months before hearing the words..."we need/want to make a change....blah blah blah."

Two weeks after a great 50th birthday celebration (January, 2007) in SD I traded in my beloved Mustang convertible for a Ford 500 (I am still driving the white Beast) and headed to Syracuse for a job at WSTM.  Fifteen months later John and I moved slightly south to the Scripps station in Baltimore, WMAR.  Forty-nine weeks later...west to Kansas City and KSHB.

I have now been at NBC Action News for two years, eight months.  Learned some things.  Hard things.  Survived another general manager change.  Learned to appreciate my strengths and to fix some of my weaknesses.

I let go of Memphis.  I began to appreciate Kansas City.  We bought a house here.

Most of all, though, I recognize the competitive spirit of the folks at 4720 Oak.  Today, I saw evidence of a high-functioning newsroom.  There have been glimpses before.  Today, I saw it clearly.

It was a great birthday present.

We can be winners.  I know it.  I believe it.

And I'm now 55 years old.  Wow.

Finally, some good news

Laptops, gadgets too old? Trade 'em in at Target.:

Laptops and other electronic gear can be turned in at nearly 1,500 Target stores. Target and other stores are offering gift cards or store credit for used laptops, iPhones, iPads, and other gadgets.

Karma

Today, I was patiently waiting for a shaded parking spot at the mall when a guy cut me off and stole the parking spot I had been waiting for with my blinker on. I let it go and just parked farther out in an non-shaded spot. While I was shopping, a windy, loud thunder storm passed over the area. When I left the mall, a huge fallen tree branch had crushed the roof of the guy’s car who stole my spot. MMT:

The March to Irrelevance

I am one week away from a day I've been dreading since I became aware of the importance of demographics in the life a TV news director.

We-Who-Run-Newsrooms live and die (get fired) based on the number of people ages 18-49 or 25-54 that watch our newscasts.  Those ratings are figured every February, May, July, November.

Next Wednesday, I will no longer matter, according to Nielsen, the company that determines who watches television and when.

I will be 55 years old.  And I'm not alone.

I have more disposable income than I did at 18.  More than I had at 25.  More than I had at 35.  I have more buying power but the Powers-That-Be who determine my professional fate.  Still, they say I'm too old to matter.

I say, "Hold the bus headed the old folks home."

I'm still here, I'm still buying stuff.

Most of the time with cash!

I want a new kitchen and a deck and I want to turn my unfinished basement into a Man Cave for John.  He wants a pool table.

Don't stop paying attention to me, retailers.  I still matter.

I'm not the only one who thinks this way:

"...the current state of media evaluation and advertising targeting is dominated by a fundamentally flawed, and increasingly anachronistic, age-based process. This process is resulting in the misallocation of billions of dollars in media expenditures and in an imbalance in the programming mix of the media."

It's time for Nielsen to realize that 55 is the new 47.

Got an iPad for Christmas, thought it might be an incentive to blog more.

not.

This is my first and last post via the blogger app on iPad

App is terrible.

I get it, Apple.  You hate Google.

I get it Google.  You hate Apple.

No prob.

I can live with you both.